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For Dunsworth and her husband, who review their spending every Sunday, the idea of having to explain why she splurged on a sweater when she already has ten, was enough motivation to keep her spending in line. Tracking your spending offers the cold hard facts to keep you honest," she says. "This means at any given point of the month you are clear on what your are making, what you are paying and what you are working towards. "The key with our approach to money management centres on knowing your numbers, setting goals and being accountable to them," says Dunsworth of the Smart Cookies' philosophy.
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When lying is hurting your relationship, Campbell suggests getting professional help to resolve the issue, "or the lying may continue even if the spouse is exposed at one point." Setting goals together that both partners agree on and reviewing them monthly, allowing each other some "fun" money they are allowed to do what they want with, agreeing on a budget and open communication are essential ways to resolve the problem, Campbell suggests.ĭunsworth also outlines some easy tips for encouraging and enhancing honesty in your financial relationship: "Is the other spouse hiding purchases because one spouse controls the money and relationship? Is it because basic purchases are ridiculed or is there a deeper problem with compulsive spending?" Campbell asks.
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Also, it is important when resolving these issues to not assign blame, according to Campbell. "If you are in a relationship where you or your significant other feel you have to lie about spending, that's an indicator that you need to work on re-establishing trust and confidence in each other's money habits," Dunsworth says.
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of 2 – On page 2, learn how to resolve the spend-hide-lie cycle as a couple. So the fear is real," says Campbell, who sees these scenarios in her practice as a counselor for the nonprofit agency Credit Canada. One lady, for example, said that if her husband ever knew about how she had spent money, he would divorce her. There is a real fear of rejection and inadequacy, and this causes spouses to lie. "Some feel that if their spouse found out about purchases they would belittle them and tell them they aren't good money managers. Spouses generally lie about purchases to avoid arguments, Campbell says. Not only have they hidden it from their spouse, she says, they are not looking for solutions to resolve the problem. "We have often seen one person come in for counseling and their spouse or partner has no ideas about the debts they have incurred," says Credit Canada executive director and credit counsellor Laurie Campbell. Women are categorized more as shoppers and less likely to spend as much on big-ticket purchases," she adds. "Men also spend more in entertainment, spending in areas like electronics, dating, sports and alcohol. "A University of Pennsylvania study found that the average man spends $1,800 a year where women spend just over $1,000," says Dunsworth. "There is a stereotype that the overspender in a relationship is more often the woman then the man," says Katie Dunsworth, co-author of The Smart Cookies' Guide to Couples Money. Men and women are equal-opportunity overspenders A recent survey conducted by Credit Canada and Capital One shows that 31 per cent of women and 27 per cent of men say they have lied to their partner about how much they have spent on a purchase. Everyone knows someone who lies about money or hides purchases from his or her spouse.
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